The Blessing of Moving on: No regrets, Lessons learnt!

Happy international women's day! I celebrate all the amazing women who have touched my life in the last one year. Would write a tribute to them on Monday. Now back to the topic:

Days have gone by, seasons have passed, they say time heals all wounds, as much as I agree, I can't help but wonder; is time just a healer, or is it also a plastic surgeon? Why does my heart feel so different? No I don't feel the pain any more, but I am puzzled, not by what I feel, but by the fact that I don't feel any more. I am Numb!

Several times I have prayed and cried to God; help me forgive, help me not to hold any grudges, help me not to harbor bitterness and sincerely, I believe my prayers have been answered. But what happened to my ability to feel? What happened to the excitement that usually comes when you watch that romantic movie or you see that special person that makes your heart flutter? What happened to the eagerness that comes with dressing up for a date or a special event? Why has everything become a routine? Did Dr 'Time' heal my heart and forget to put back the excitement? or what really went wrong during the 'Broken heart' reconstruction surgery?

I have admired several people in my life time, but the people I admire the most are the people with the blessing of moving on and the gift of the come back. I used to pride myself to be one of such. I remember my very good friend in the past Toyosi, she was extremely gifted with gift of the come back. She was down so often, but she picked her self up so fast, that you never knew she had been down, I used to watch in awe those days and wonder how she did it. Or my friend X(who is still my very good friend, so I can't reveal her name) who went through several relationships with different men, who proved to be less than men, but she never let it get her down, she keeps believing, keeps hoping, that one day she would kiss her Prince, so she never stops giving love a chance. Oh how fortunate are they that have the blessing of moving on.

I was feeling down once again, about this person who has refused to take up his responsibilities  I almost regretted ever setting my eye's on him, but the smile of the beautiful little boy that looks just like him, keeps me focused on the present. 

In my brooding, I read an article in the February edition of "O" magazine, where the author spoke about her perspective about moving on. She spoke about going through a divorce and feeling like a failure, but her friend asked her: Did you have good times in that relationship? Did you learn anything? She realized it has not been all bad, and she had indeed learnt a few things. Then her friend asked, did every project you have being involved in that came to an end, mean that you failed at it? No it doesn't mean failure, it just means it ended! So sometimes in relationships, no matter how painful it is, it might come to an end, but the important thing is that we glean all we can and learn lessons that would help us become better people in future.

So back to me; what happened to my feelings, why did I loose my excitement  I learnt some simple reasons, that I want to share with you:

1. You loose excitement, when you loose expectation: Because someone we care for disappoints us, our perspective becomes colored and we think that every one who gets close to us stands a chance of disappointing us, so we develop a defense mechanism to lower our expectations, so that we would not be disappointed again if they don't keep their word. 

2. Trust should be bestowed on a case by case basis: Just because someone disappointed you, doesn't mean you should not trust the world again, it just means that you should give every individual a chance to earn your trust. If you don't open up to the opportunity to trust another person, you would live a shielded and   empty life.

3. You can love again!: So someone broke your heart and it seems like your world is going to end? No Sir! No Ma, you can love again! When God made us, he put the ability to love in our DNA, nobody has the power to steal it from you without your permission  Love can be for a person, or a business or a passion, no matter how many times your heart has been broken or how many times things didn't work out the way you wanted, pick up yourself, receive the blessing of moving on and keep going......

This is not just a write up, but it is an advise to my self; Bamitale-No regrets, Lessons learnt, keep moving!

Has life thrown you a dent? How have you or are you dealing with it? Please share in the comment box below:

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