I need a girl friend!

Looking at the topic again, It makes me grin sheepishly I know it sounds cheezy, but don’t get worried, this is not an announcement that I am now interested in same sex love relationships! It’s a challenge to us ‘girls’ to be there for each other…

Women are their own worst enemies….I have heard that saying over and over again and a few people have stories to back the saying; from ‘horrible’ female bosses to the older single woman ‘beefing’ the younger married and pregnant colleagues. I have heard quite a number of stories. How about ‘mentors’ who don’t want their protégées to make greater progress than themselves? Or that female Sponsorship manager who won’t give opportunities to women initiated projects? I am an advocate of my fellow women prospering and being empowered so these stories sadden me and I hope and pray that I would continue to help my sisters prosper.

Yesterday I decided to go to one of the events in the Social Media week currently taking place and of course the session I went for was on women doing business the social way. I went prepared to learn and find practical answers that could improve my business. It was ‘one hour’ worth my while, however I asked a question and did not get an adequate answer and was feeling somewhat dissatisfied.

As the program ended and I stood up to leave, I was approached by three pleasant ladies, in the first place, I felt rather special because of the attention, but as I listened to what they had to say, I felt really blessed! They had come to answer my question and offer me practical tips that I could apply to improve my business. After they were done, I was overwhelmed with gratitude, because it was one of the few times women had walked up to me to offer help. It is usually a guy thing from my experience.

This is to say a big thank you to Ized Uanikhehi of Evolvesynergy.com and Ifeoma Chuks-Adizue of deluxechildbirth.com and Sheervirtuosity.com. Your generosity in sharing has made me a richer person and broadened my social media marketing knowledge. And also to Amaka Titilayo Okoli of Spreadmediang.com for the pre-event blogging tips. I am definitely looking forward to our lunch date and the opportunity to take this blog to a new level soon.

That been said, the bible says it is more blessed to give than to receive, every woman you meet is not a ‘bitch’ or a ‘gossip’ or ‘jealous’. There are definitely people who are positive and can add value and I want to challenge you to be an example. How you might ask?

1.      Be a positive person: Yup! Speak positive, think positive and let the positive energy spread. They say you attract who you are, so evaluate yourself, who are you attracting? Some people can rebuff you when you reach out to them positively, but it should not discourage you. I always make an excuse for people who react negatively to my positivity so that I don’t think negative thoughts towards them.

2.      Seek to give not just to receive: I had a colleague who always asked her self ‘WIIFM’ anytime she met someone or had an opportunity brought before her. The ‘what’s in it for me’ attitude is the default setting of most of us and it is undeniably a way our minds protect us from getting hurt or being manipulated. However reset yourself to be a giver. When you meet someone, train yourself to ask; how can I add value to this person or be a blessing to them. Giving makes our life richer and brings back multiplied blessings to us. How can you open doors or make a way for another person today?

3.      Speak positive and encouraging words: A lot of people have personal insecurities either about their physical features or some personality weaknesses. Imagine what life would be like on a day to day basis when we speak positive and encouraging words to people? Our days would definitely be happier. Find something to compliment people about and this would be easy if you are a positive person.

4.      Everybody is a well of knowledge, be open to drink from them: This is something I tell myself every time. Sometimes I feel like I am really smart especially in subjects that I have acquired adept knowledge about. However I have come to realize that a lot of successful people are not necessarily the smartest, they are the people most able to humble themselves to listen to people and get relevant information to apply to their lives. People like people who listen to them which is a point Dale Carnegie made in the book ‘How to make friends and influence people’.  When you meet people especially your fellow sisters, be open to listen and learn from them.

The ladies I met today encouraged me to share what I do to pay the bills (which I really love doing by the way) with you and so here goes; I am a fashion entrepreneur; you can visit my fashion brand site www.recreationsng.com to see and buy the most amazing shirts and more products are coming soon. I am also a business development consultant based on my corporate work experience and MBA knowledge and I am open to help sme’s grow and expand their businesses. Email me at bamitale@en-reachlimited.com or tale@recreationsng.com

Let’s continue to be givers in 2014, share this with someone who you know would really be blessed by it.

Peace and Love

Tale

The tides would turn, eventually............

I was excited that it was finally going to be a sunny day in London, but decided to still heed the warning of my family friend to dress with the worst cold in mind. I put on two shirts, a sweater and a jacket. I was feeling really hot by the time I got to the train station and was so tempted to strip on the platform.....

Two stops later the rain came pouring and when it rains, it pourrsssss. Was I glad that I was fully clad to withstand the cold that came with the rain... two hours later, it was over like it never happened! In my usual reflective manner, I related this to life and have come to realise that no matter how dark it gets, the light would finally come.

Sometimes life hits you from many sides and you feel like that boxer trying to find your balance after many knock outs, but too wary to stand up because it seems like the fight is over and you have lost anyway. I have been there so many times and each time, I felt like going to a safe corner to hide from all the challenges that being alive brings, but not for too long because even if you hide it doesn't always disappear.

The good news in all this is; like the rain poured heavily and stopped after two hours, eventually the tide would turn. You would find a break in that hopeless situation. You would find the resources you need for that dream. That husband or wife would come and you won't be single for the rest of your life.

How do I know this? Because my life is also in session and I have seen dark days and bright days. I have also watched the lives of great people and have seen them battle the fiercest battle and come out victorious.

But what has helped them triumph and win?

1. They kept fighting: I don't know about you, but I have given up on my dreams 101 times. I tell my self; Be realistic joor! This thing is taking too long, stop dreaming and be a 'normal' person. When I decide to act on 'realistic', something in me repels against it and tell me to keep fighting! I am still in the battle sincerely, but I can tell you I have scored more victories by keeping up the fight.

2. They keep their goals and dream in front of them: I have a vision board with pictures of the life I want and sometimes I feel like throwing it away. Some mornings however, I wake up stare at it and say; if this is my possibility, why settle for less? It keeps me going and keeps me motivated. I have heard stories of people suffering from life threatening ailments who have kept a dream in front of them. Some eventually recover and live their dreams.

3. They are positive and surround themselves with positive people and information: I woke up yesterday morning and was searching for a channel to watch. I am currently in Istanbul and the English speaking channels are few and far between. I finally found BBC world and watched it for five minutes and gave up! I have just had enough of hearing all that is wrong in the world. Yes things are going wrong, economies are suffering, leaders are corrupt! But successful people are not feeding on these sort of information, if not they won't be making much progress. I am not an advocate for having your head up in the air, but like Brian Mayne says; If you stare at the problem too long, you would steer(move towards) at the problem. 

So no matter how bad it gets or how hard things are keep positive and surround your self with positive people. The positivity would energize you and help you see the light in the darkest situations.

They do something about it! Yes and this advice is for me really....I am tired of the status quo and I am advising my self to stop moaning and feeling helpless and get up and do something about it. Of course this include asking God for divine direction so that I don't just go round in circles in the name of doing something.

So what's your situation today? The tide would turn, eventually. Get up and work into your season.

Peace and Love
Tale
N.B: Share this with someone if it truly blessed you.