WHEN THE BATTLE BEGINS Part 2

I read the document over and over; I couldn't believe this had happened. I had been positive, I had prepared adequately and I had done my best to tell the truth, so I was shocked to be receiving this kind of information and rejection! This was a major setback; it was going to change my plans…..

I panicked for a while, seeking a solution or an alternative to the problem, but I didn't see an immediate solution. I calmed myself, made some calls and just when things seemed to be looking up; I hit another brick wall! That was when I knew that I was in a battle and I had to fight to win. Sometimes the battle comes directly to your face and we need new strategies to overcome. I would like to share some things I learnt in winning the battle that confronts you:

1.      Stay calm: Making decisions when all hell seems to have broken loose is the worst thing you can do. Never make long term decisions based on short term circumstances. Even when the panic rises, try to stay calm. Prayer helps me stay calm or talking to a sensible person that can calm you down might help you let go of the panic. Even when the confrontation is starring you in the face, buy yourself some time and stay calm.

2.      Examine alternatives: After you have calmed yourself, examine if there are alternative cause of actions. There is always another way, another option. It starts with a mindset of possibilities. You need to believe that rejection is not a stop sign, its only redirection to another cause of action. For example if the source of finance you were depending on does not come through, calmly examine if there are other alternatives. There is always a way, if you apply yourself and put your mind to it.

3.      Take action: When you have examined the alternative and weighed the cost of the various options, take a step of faith and take action. I always measure decisions from a quantitative-numbers driven and qualitative-Value driven perspective. Some decisions may make more sense numbers wise, but might be detrimental value wise. The final decision would be based on what is more important to you. And when you have taken a cause of action, try not to look back in regret, keep moving forward.

4.      Keep the faith: One of the greatest battles you have to fight is to hold on to your believe/faith in the process of taking action in expectation that the action would lead to your desired expectation. This goes back to all we discussed in part one(http://thefivestarwoman.blogspot.com/2013/06/when-battle-beginspart-1.html )

5.      See your victory: I have heard this famous saying: It’s not over until you win! Hold on to till you reach your desired outcome. You might have to take another route or another form of transportation, but don’t change your course until you win this battle!

            

Stay Empowered,

Tale.

I really appreciate your comments. They let me know if you are being blessed, inspired or empowered. I am also willing to answer your questions, so please keep sharing and share this article with others….

WHEN THE BATTLE BEGINS………Part 1

I was frustrated and downright hysterical! I lost my calm and let panic sink deep into me. Now that I had decided to take strategic steps towards the future I desired and believed I deserved as the child of a ‘King’, all hell seems to have broken loose. I felt out of control and was looking for something to grasp to give me back my control. I struggled desperately with the pain of uncertainty pricking my heart. Then I decided to let go, I had done my best, let the free fall begin………….

If you have been following my articles, I have been encouraging and challenging you and even me to reach for more, dream bigger and raise our standards. These are ultimately the keys to live a more fulfilling and successful life. However I want to share today what might be the follow up, if you have made the decision to go for the ‘more’ you deserve.

I am not really an action film person (although I am watching more of it these days because of a certain somebody) but what I like most about them is that there is always a hero, a battle and a heroine or should I say a woman who would propel the hero of the movie to go to great lengths to win the battle, so that he can either win her heart or save her from harm. Now that’s the part that makes my feminine heart flutter……. I have discovered that life is a battle field, the battle starts once we decide on a Purpose or a goal that we want to achieve.

This battle does not always happen in the physical (sometimes it does!), but it is mostly fought in the mind. Now you have decided you are going to aim for more in your love life, career, business or finances and you take a step by coming up with a plan and you dream of your possibilities. Then when it is time to come up with action steps, ‘reality’ hits you! I can’t really do this, now the first voice in the battle launches out. Then the voice goes on and on about the “why’s” you are not capable or you do not deserve or you would not succeed. Sometimes the voice is so powerful and can make you weary to the point of dropping the goal, idea or thought. How do you handle the battles in your minds?

1.      Listen attentively: I have heard a school of thought say when negative thoughts begin to cross your mind; you should shut it down immediately. I want to suggest another way; imagine you are in a law court and your opposition is pushing out several accusations, wouldn’t you want to listen attentively to know how to counter the opposition? So listen to the rambling of the mind, then when the ramblings have ended, you would have identified what your fears and limitations really are.

2.      Remind yourself of who you really are: The inner negative voice has just finished telling you why the things you desire cannot happen for you, now it’s time for you to speak. Don’t rush to counter the voice, just begin to remind yourself about you. The special creation made by the best manufacturer. Appreciate your talents, your gifts and the skills that come natural to you. Remind yourself of your past victories and the challenges you have been able to overcome. David said; I have killed the lion and I have killed the bear.

3.    Tell yourself why you can: Once you have reminded yourself of who you are, then all of a sudden, the negative voice doesn't seem to have any power anymore, and you have re-built your confidence in yourself. Now tell yourself why you can do all the things you set out to do. Begin to write the contacts you have, the things leverage on and your excitement to do it would be restored

4.     Give yourself a reason/ incentive to do it: So for example, if you go for that new job, you would be able to afford your dream car. Or if you make that move and your business starts to grow, you would be able to afford that long overdue vacation (I am dreaming about that!)

5.     Get started!: Now you have won the battle in this round, don’t just sit back, utilize your victory and start taking steps and making moves to achieve what you desire.

This process would have to be repeated various times in the journey to your dream life as every battle has various stages and chapters. Next time, I would share about how to handle the battle that comes to you physically, either through opposition or setbacks.

Stay Empowered,

Tale.

I really appreciate your comments. They let me know if you are being blessed, inspired or empowered. I am also willing to answer your questions, so please keep sharing and share this article with others….

RAISE YOUR STANDARDS

I remember my teenage years when I would lie in bed for hours and escape into the world of dreams. I would spend hours on end fantasizing over the possibilities of the future. The dreams would vary from meeting prince charming to taking trips to exotic locations or maybe becoming a ‘Bond’ girl (The hot looking women that always add steam to James Bond movies, LOL!). I would dream wildly and widely because fantasy was so delicious. Sometimes I would event forget to eat because I was filled with the joy and excitement I got from going to places in my mind that I might never be able to go in reality.

Events overtook my fantasy, I was confronted with ‘real life’ of completing my university education, finding a job, growing in my career, pursuing my MBA and now running a business and trying to find the balance of life, love and other mysteries…. However, looking back, some of my dreams did come to pass, some I thought were downright ridiculous and some life took me through the school of hard knocks and I almost lost my steam and ability to dream again.

Recently with a lot of introspection and meditation on God’s word, I realize that my ‘so called’ fantasies were visions of my future possibilities depending on the choices I made, the path I chose and my ability to believe and persevere to see my dreams come to reality. I also realize that the difference between successful people and not so successful people was the standards they set for themselves and their expectations from life.

Success and true happiness starts from within. It is the process of crossing from the intangible to the tangible. It is that ability to see something strongly in your mind and work towards bringing it to pass, not from a place of struggle, but from a place of conviction that your plans, goals and steps would achieve the expected result. But this would only happen if you raise your standards. How do you raise your standards?

1.      Believe in “YOU”: I wrote you in capital letters because most of us seem to seek our validation from people and achievements. But for us to truly believe in our self, it has to come from the inside. It has to be a confident knowing of who you really are and what better way to know yourself, than to ask ‘the’ manufacturer; ask, why did you make me? What gifts and talents did you put in me? What is my contribution to the world? What makes me special and how am I going to stand out? The saying that everyone is special is not a cliché, it is a reality; no two people are alike and if we focus more inwards, we would find our individual uniqueness and this would help us believe in ourselves.

2.      Be positive: I hear this lot and I am beginning to appreciate it much more in my life. My rational is this; unfortunate and unexpected incidences might happen anyway, whether I think about it or not, so why waste any energy being a negative person and trying to anticipate negativity? I have learned to say to myself; what if all the good things I expect happen for me? Instead of saying what if the bad things happen? This gives me energy and keeps me motivated to keep pursuing the dreams I see in my mind, so they can become a reality. A brilliant writer says what make man (Male and female) superior over animals, is our minds. The mind was created to protect us from pain, and sometimes it can prevent us from reaching out to our possibilities. We need to train our minds to be positive and to expect good things. It would help us do the third thing:

3.      Dream big: Donald Trump is famous for saying; if you have to dream, why don’t you dream big! My response used to be; well you live in the United States, the land of possibilities where things work, dreaming big in Africa is tough with all the economic and infrastructural challenges! I have realized that that’s not necessarily true. Yes our environment might make dreaming big difficult, but it’s this same environment that has produced great men and women that you and I know. So we can all create the world we desire if we dream big. It all starts from within. Now I tell myself, instead of dreaming about becoming a mildly successful entrepreneur; can I dream of becoming an amazingly successful and greatly inspiring entrepreneur? Mild or average does not inspire any one. So why don’t you dream and reach for more?

4.      Take action steps: Now you are fired up! You are seeing your possibilities. Don’t just stop there, create a plan and start taking steps towards it. The good book says; Faith without works is dead. Now how can you work towards your ‘Big’ dreams? What do you need to do in the next 1 hour? 1 day? 1 week? 1 month? 1 year? Who do you need to meet? Don’t let the process weigh you down or make you lose zeal about making your dreams a reality. Take baby steps and keep increasing it. Your joy would increase as you get closer to making your dreams come to pass.

5. Keep leaning in: If you read my last article on lean in(http://thefivestarwoman.blogspot.com/2013/05/lean-in-to-your-life.html), you get the general concept. Raise your standards in all areas of life, don’t just dream big in your career and neglect your family or pursue your passion and neglect your finances. We need to constantly strive for balance. Start each day from inwards to outwards. For me this means: speaking to God, mediating on his word, exercising for some time, re-hydrating  taking a shower, eating etc. By the time you get to actual execution of your plans for the day, you would be properly stimulated and balanced.

Raise your standards and you would live a more successful and fulfilled life.

Stay Empowered,

Tale.

I really appreciate your comments. They let me know if you are being blessed, inspired or empowered. I am also willing to answer your questions, so please keep sharing and share this article with others….