Lessons I learnt from Failure

My childhood was a really exciting time for me, especially the adventure of running around in the compound, playing maliyo games with my friends and picking up lost coins from the sand which we promptly handed to the puff puff seller for the most sumptuous puff puff balls. I remember those days now when I see the excitement in my son’s eyes when he discovers a new cartoon with new superheroes for him to imitate. Things were so easy then and nothing seemed impossible….

Fast-forward to today; I have been busy trying to wrap up a very challenging project. When I first got the project, I was really excited, like a child who has been handed a gift box with all sorts of treasures’ and possibilities in it. I jumped on it and quickly began to unwrap it only to realize that not all the candies tasted nicely, some were sour and others were plain bitter! I have been on that journey for eight weeks and I have made some mistakes and now I have a book full of ‘what not to do’s’ when I have this sort of projects in future. The amazing thing that has happened to me through the struggles of raising financing, dealing with exchange rate fluctuations, manufacturers disappointments and all sorts of things is that I have come out stronger, wiser and more knowledgeable about how to do it better!

For the first time in a long time I have embraced failure and made it my teacher. I made up my mind not to shy away from the harshness and pain, but to fight through it so that I can extract the juice from it and turn my mistakes into the platform for greater future success. As I approach the final stages of this particular project and prepare to start another one, I want to share some lessons I have learnt from failure:

1.      Failure is not fatal or final: When you fail at something, you might think that your life is over! I remember the first time I failed the 2^nd stage in my ICAN exams in 2005; I cried so much that I almost crossed a traffic light that had turned red. When the Police man stopped me, I broke down and cried so hard that he even began to plead with me to take it easy! I mourned for some days, picked myself up wrote it again and failed again! At this time, failure had become hilarious. I just laughed and it did not hurt as much as it did the first time. But this time around, I sat down and examined why I was failing, I realized that I was trying to study for 4 papers in one sitting and decided to come up with a new approach to taking the exams, which leads to my second lesson:

2.      You need to be flexible: planners like I need to have our route planned out to the tenth, and it can be quite disconcerting when things don’t go according to the plan. However, I have learnt that life would throw your curve balls that can get you off your set path and you need to be flexible enough to take a new turn without changing your end point. After I realized I had failed my exams twice because I was taking on too much at once, I decided to focus on two courses and give them my energy and time and because I changed my strategy, I passed those two papers I focused on. Of course after that I decided I didn’t want to practice as an Accountant, but the lesson was learnt!

3.      Do your best but don’t kill yourself: I remember the nursery rhyme that goes thus; do your best and leave the rest! If you are a perfectionist, that sounds foreign to you. You probably obsess over and over again when things don’t go perfectly. But I have finally learnt to do my best in whatever project or assignment that is before me and not beat myself too much when things don’t go exactly the way I planned it. Excellence is a virtue everyone must imbibe, but sometimes in pursuit of excellence, things can go wrong and we might not be able to control the circumstances. At those times, we should try and communicate to the parties involved and take a solution oriented approach. But don’t kill yourself, do your best and leave the rest to the Almighty!

4.      Develop a thick skin: I have disliked critics for as long as I could remember. And it’s not just the criticism I don’t like, it is criticism that just aims to put you down instead of been solution oriented. I have grown a lot by receiving constructive criticism that have corrected me and pointed me in the right direction, but those negative critics can be such downers. I have since learnt that if you are doing anything of worth and value, people are going to try to talk you or pull you down! My advice is to develop a thick skin and stay centered. Let your validation come from your inner conviction and the support of trusted people and not from the opinions of Naysayers who don’t know the full story or the true picture. You can also be you chief critic, but go easy on yourself sometimes and forgive yourself (read my last article on place more value on yourself!) then get back up again and get right back to it!

5.      Don’t compromise your values in pursuit of success: I have learnt that sometime failure is saying NO to circumstances that would otherwise have led you to compromise. Success can be such a blinding obsession that the hurdles you are faced with to cross into the realm of success might be marked with things that would go against you belief and you might be too blind to see it. My advice is always follow the path of wisdom, there is always a way out that doesn’t require you to compromise, do your best to find that way and negotiate your success. But when you have done your best and there seems to be no other way but the way of compromise, then it’s time to let go. For what you walk away from today to preserve your values, might come to you tomorrow on a platter of gold without the dirt…………

This is my message to me this morning and I am going to apply it, I hope you do the same………….

Stay Empowered,

Tale.

P.S Please follow me on twitter @taleofrecreatio I do my best to share inspirational thoughts

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