Let Go and Find your self!

I had one of those rare ‘aha’ moments this weekend as I spent a day at a business women’s mentoring event. The session started with the facilitator asking us to say something interesting about ourselves, I sat in the room and listened as several ladies came out and made self-depreciating remarks about themselves… A few years ago I would have done exactly the same thing and thought it was okay.

I searched my heart and wondered where did all this come from? Who taught us women not to believe in ourselves or see much value in us? As I contemplated this, I reminisced about my growing up years……

I remember the day I broke the plate in the kitchen, my dear mum pounced on me and told me how if I continued like this, I would never make a good wife. I think back to myself smiling; what did a 9 year old girl know about what it took to be a good wife?

But this was the conditioning of many young girls in our traditional African setting. You had to learn to conform to the expectations’ of womanhood from an early age. You had to learn to think less of yourself and more of the future spouse you would end up with. It was like you were being prepared for a pageant and only the best woman won!

Woe betide you if you had a harsh or insensitive coach, you were scarred for a long time! Now the conditioning is not all bad, because women are inherently created to be nurturers. However there is more to you than to be the mother of someone or the wife of another.

I have seen women live in sadness and dejection because they did not (or are yet to) wear the crown of motherhood or wife when their mates did. They behave like people who lost in the pageant and have been condemned to a life of mourning.

If you are a woman who has broken through the wall of conditioning and discovered herself, I salute you. But if you have not, I would like to ask you a few questions:

1.      Who are you: Not what the society, your family or your friends says you should be? Who are you really and truly? Search you heart, break the conditioning, go to the deepest parts and answer the question; who are you?

2.      Why are you here: There must be more to life than turning the cog wheel of waking up in the morning, going to work, getting back, watching television and going to bed. Why are you on the earth? There is a purpose for everything, even the little ant and the mosquito has a purpose! So there must be a reason why God brought you to the earth space. Do you know the reason? Find it! When you do and have a clearer sense of purpose, your self-confidence and sense of self-worth would improve.

3.      What story or legacy would you leave behind: Every second, time passes. The moment you read that last sentence, time has passed and we can’t get it back again.  That’s the way all of us will go through the passage of time and leave this earth. Take a moment in deep introspection and ask yourself; what story or Legacy would I leave behind? How would you want to be remembered? Begin today to create that story!

It is time to let go of all negative conditioning and find your true self, so that you can make your contribution on earth soil, make a difference in your generation, find your voice and bless the world with your story!

Let’s continue to be givers in 2014, share this with someone who you know would really be blessed by it.

Peace and Love

Tale