Let Go of the Shame and Live!

I sat in the hotel room and decided I was going to take a day off and rest on my trip to Istanbul for business last week. I am a restless person and resting sometimes makes me anxious; I sometimes feel like if I rest something might be left undone! I am sure I would have been diagnosed with some sort of disorder if I went to one of those fancy hospitals. But thank God for grace and life experiences that make your learn patience and process. As I lounged in bed that day and watched inspirational programs while restlessly flipping from Bloomberg to JCTV, from CNBC to Daystar (unfortunately they didn't have “E” entertainment which was good I guess, lol) I drifted into examining my life and how far I have come and I was filled with gratitude when I remembered how it all started;

It was quite awkward for me growing up, and I had to deal with various self esteem issues like a lot of teenage girls. It varied from being too thin to suddenly having weight issues, from being a geek/efiko to trying to fit in with the ‘cool’ people. To not having the nicest clothes to wear, to breaking out with acne so much I wanted to peel out my face. The physical issues was one thing, but the comparisons to other people by well meaning people was the most difficult to deal with. I struggled through some of the issues, overcame and triumphed over the others, but a few of them still pop up now and then so many years later…

I recap this not to solicit pity, but to show that we have all had a past and various issues in our lives that are not so pretty and some of them have put us in the bondage of shame! I am a keen people watcher and I delight in it when I am stuck in a place for several hours. I indulged in it again recently at the Airport waiting to catch my flight back and I observed people from different countries, with different skin colors and who speak different languages and I made startling realization; we are all the same one way or the other! How you might ask?

1.      Nobody is perfect!: Yes I mean it! The guy with the perfect height has a bad breath; the lady with the deliciously long hair has freckles over her face. How about the lady with the amazing back side that was definitely hotter than a Brazilian but (buttocks) augmentation, she turned and I saw her weird looking eyes and I smiled a big smile, not in condemnation but in realization, that no “human body” is perfect! So if you struggle with your self esteem because of your physical imperfections, relax you are in the company of 99.9% of the worlds citizen. I am not saying you shouldn't do your best with your physical appearance, but don’t let it define you, live your life!

2.      Our attitude to life is our choice: I met a very pleasant porter in my hotel, the guy could not speak a word in English, but his enthusiasm and positivism was contagious. You would have thought he was the hotel owner, not just a porter by how excited he was to receive me and help me every step of the way. And he was not pretending, because he was like that for the whole week I stayed in that hotel. Yes life has not been fair to you or you are in the middle of a battle or you just lost a dear friend like I just did, you shouldn't let it color your life, your attitude is a choice! Don’t let your circumstance define you, live your life.

3.      Everyone has an edge: I just said nobody is perfect, but the truth is; everyone has an edge. An edge is something that gives you an advantage in life, something that makes you special, something that gives you a chance to succeed in life just as much as the next guy or lady! The problem is that we spend a lot of time focusing on what we don’t have or what is not working and very little time focused on developing our edge that we end up feeling less successful or less fortunate. Let go of focusing on what you don’t have going for you and decide to live your life focusing on what you have and can become. Live your life!

I just lost my dear friend Adenike Ogunbe of Ewar makeovers and I feel really sad about it, but I see death as a wake-up call and instruction for us to wake up, let go of what limits us and live a life worth remembering when we pass.

Dear friend, let go of the shame and live your best life!

Stay Empowered,

Tale.

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