THE DIALOGUE: I WANT YOU BACK!

I spent some time speaking to her; on the outside, she was the perfect package of a quintessential good looking and sophisticated woman. She seemed to have it going on; a good job, a well placed husband and the ability to afford some of the fine things in life.

It started as the usual girl talk and then it went deeper; I knew she had been trying for kids for some years and casually asked how that was going. I did not know I was about to open a deep wound that had been concealed by layers of makeup and other finesse.

She told me casually: I have stopped trying! I was shocked. Why I asked? Because I am probably not cut out to have a child. Any way I don’t care anymore she said, trying to sound casual, but my senses were alerted, there must be something more….. Then I pointed her to the bible says ‘none shall be barren’, what is God saying to you I asked?

I have stopped praying she said matter of fact! That instant I felt her pain, I had been there before, in the path of pain, those years when I went through heart break and decided I was done with God! Please speak to God about it I pleaded; he loves you too much and feels your pain. Not now, It hurts too much she responded and at that moment I could feel the tears pouring down her face through the eyes of my mind.

I wanted to touch her and hug her, but alas blackberry hug emoticons was the best I could share for we were connected by the messenger we had been chatting through.

At loss for words of my own, I heard a voice: 'I want you back!' And that’s how the dialogue began:

Voice: I want you back

Lady: why?

Voice: Because I love you

Lady: snorts, yeah right!

Voice: I really love you very much

Lady: ( with sarcasm in her voice) if you love me so much, why am I going through all this hurt and pain?

Voice: Because the world is a challenging place, with various battles going on that you cannot see.

Lady: But you told me you were all powerful when you wooed me! You told me I would be safe in your arms.

Voice: yes I told you that, I meant it and that’s why you are alive today.

Lady: (in an exasperated voice) Is this what been alive means? With all this pain and hurt? I have to watch someone else get what I want so badly and smile in support, when deep down I am hurt that it’s not happening for me.

Voice: I make you see it happening for others so that I can re-awaken the expectation in you, so that I can keep you hope alive.

Lady: You sure have a weird sense of humor, Cus you are achieving just the opposite! I have stopped believing in you. I don’t have any expectations anymore, and guess what? My life is easier that way!

Voice: Please believe again!

Lady: No way! The pain of un-met expectation is too much. Thanks but no thanks!

Voice: I love you

Lady: I don’t think so!

Voice: I want you back! To the place where you first believed. To the time when you loved me, not for what you could get from me, but for who I was to you.

Lady: (sighs) well I used to believe that nothing was impossible, I used to believe that I could achieve anything because you had my back, but I am not sure any more…………..

Voice: I still have great plans for you, I am still going to bless you exceedingly, I am taking you through a process so that my blessing would not make you forget me or what really matters: Our relationship!

Lady: hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm! But this process is so painful and awfully long if I might add.

Voice: For you it might seem long, but for me I am filled with happiness every time you cross a hurdle, overcome a challenge and achieve victory. You are getting closer and closer to your destination.

Lady: Help me believe again (this time she said it with tears welling up her eyes)

Voice: It’s always been in you, you never lost it. Believe again, dream again, I want you back………………….

I knew that was a message to me, to her and to everyone who had gone through devastating challenges that has made them doubt or stop believing. I hear the voice saying: I want you back!

Believe again!

Tale