FREE YOUR SELF TO LOVE

Adanna, if you don’t do your tasks and learn how to be a good home maker, you would never find a man to marry you! Well mum, newsflash: I am not planning to get married! She didn't really mean that and almost felt bad about how shocked her mum looked at her pronouncement, but she was getting tired of the constant badgering….Adanna comport yourself, Adanna a lady does not speak like that, or Adanna men want women who can be all rounder’s!

Remembering her recent crush on Joseph that made her stomach flutter, yes she sighed, she wouldn't have minded spending the rest of her life starring into those eyes, but why does love have to come with all those rules and laws her mum was imposing on her?

Fast forward many years later, the fairy tale has ended! The so called man she ended up with turned out to be an irresponsible jerk! Or an egotistic person! Or maybe she didn't even find any man who had the guts to propose marriage to her, more like a self fulfilling prophesy. They didn't have the guts to appreciate my glory she would think with a condescending look at all the men she knew who were potential candidates that never stepped up.

However deep down in the heart of many Adanna’s laid the inner pain, the inner insecurity; maybe I am just not good enough like my mother said. Maybe that’s why I attracted a man who treated me so badly, or maybe that’s why I am not able to find a man to love me and marry me…. That’s a place she doesn't like to go, because it was a troubling place that brought tears to her eyes. She would quickly wipe the tears, throw her chin up and go on being the sophisticated and successful woman she was perceived to be. Even her cynical attitude towards relationships seemed to add more spice to her swag!

I have sat where many Adanna’s sit. Making myself a victim and allowing the negative voices in my head to navigate my future outcomes. But my heavenly father and 1^st love has brought me to a place of deeper realization that I had gotten it all wrong. He has opened my eyes to see that I am:

1.     I am loveable: he loved me so much that he gave his most precious and only son to die so that I may live abundantly. Who does that for someone if that person does not have great value?

2.     I am created in the image of a superior being: we always tease my brother Segun, that he is a splitting image of my dad. This has helped me understand what it means to be made in someone’s image: You are just like them! If you are like God, you can’t be a lesser being or an inferior person. You don’t need to have inferiority or superiority complex. How about God complex? In his image and likeness!

3.     I am fearfully and wonderfully made: When God made us, he took his time and created a person with the right proportions, with the right materials and with the right dimensions. Soft enough to cry, yet strong enough to carry the weight of life. Just perfect!

4.     My identity is derived from God: a lot of us have sought to define ourselves by what those closest to us think, or what the society expects. But all those things are at best average definitions of who we really are. Our real identity should be derived from above. He is the one that should determine what we can or cannot do.

5.     I have the right gifts and skill sets to excel: Everything we need to excel on this earth, God has put the potential on the inside of us. All we have to do is identify it, accept it, sharpen it and unleash it. I might not be as good as you in some areas, but I am good in others, and I would celebrate myself in those areas and free myself to become all I can be. Just perfect!

So ‘Adanna’, if you are reading this, you are good enough! Free yourself to love and be loved and to enjoy all the universe has in store for you. You might be 20 or 55, it’s never too late to free yourself of limitations of the past to become all you need to be!

Stay empowered,

Tale.

N.B: Adanna is a fictitious character I made up, but the context is real. I would be starting a series based on the lives of 5 fictitious women: Anastasia, Sophia, Maria, Hannah& Gabriel. I hope to be able to portray their stories from trials to triumphs, which would hopefully inspire us to become 5 star. Look forward to it……