LEAN IN TO YOUR LIFE 2-Don’t leave your life to happenstance

1.      Lean in to your dreams: I remember when I was a child, people always ask me: what would you like to be when you grow up? I had been programmed to say A Lawyer or A doctor. By the time I got to secondary school, it hovered between an Accountant or an Ambassador because I wanted to travel the world. This formed my decision to fill Accountancy as my first choice and International relations as my second choice. Many years later, I found Accounting, especially the historical aspects quite boring. I have however maintained my love for number and it has helped me in building financial models for my business and even learning a bit of pattern cutting for my fashion business.  

I started like this, because I believe everyone has a dream, but a lot of us get a ‘reality check’ of paying our bills and maintaining our life styles that we forgo our dreams because many times, it doesn't seem realistic. Truthfully, maybe you can’t just jump in to pursue your dreams, but can you begin to take steps towards it? Can you do some extra courses in the area of your dreams? Or can you volunteer to get experience in the area of your dream. Can you start your dream as a weekend business/hobby? Or can you start doing it part time? Don’t just let your dream die, begin to take steps towards it and one day, you would be living the life of your dreams. Lean in.

2.      Lean in to our finances: I just told you to start doing something about your dreams, but that does not negate your finances. I have found out that a lot of women are emotional about financial decisions. When we believe in something, we can just put all we have to support it or to do it. I think that’s why women are the Pastor’s favorite congregants, we are moved to give our by emotions. Now that’s not to say been led to give is bad, or sacrificing your money in the short term for a long term greater good is bad, but we need to lean in and take charge of our finances. You need to ask yourself some sincere questions; why did you spend that money? Why did you buy that item? Why did you make that decision? How does it fit into your long term goal?

     As a woman, either single or married, house administrator or working class, having a grasp on our finances is important. It starts by setting some goals; what do you want to achieve with money? Do you need to pay rent? Buy a new car? Pay school fees? Support your spouse or your parents/siblings? Or maybe buy land? Or a House? How much do you need to achieve this? What are you going to do to make it happen? How much do you need to set apart every month to make it happen?

I have lived by a spread sheet (Microsoft excel) for a long time and sincerely it has helped me curb emotional spending. And even when I indulge in it, I go back to my spread sheet and adjust my finances to cover for my excesses, by deducting from another of my spend items.

A simple way I have learnt to be financially disciplined without feeling like I am making too much sacrifices is by paying myself a certain portion of my income which I call ‘Tale’s paparazzi’. I named it that because I use the amount for my indulgences, but I still have other items covered. I understand that sometimes unplanned events happen that can blow your budget, but don’t give up, adjust your plan and keep at it. The important thing is that you are actively leaning in to your finances.

3.      Lean in to your relationships: We all need help and support in one area of our lives or the other. Life is more interesting and fulfilling, not because of the money we earn or the riches we have, or the accolades we receive. Life is more interesting and fulfilling because of the people we have to share it with. A lot of times we get caught up with trying to achieve or attain or become that we forget what really matters; people.

 I have been guilty of this. I set goals for business or career etc, but I think relationships should just happen. I have learnt now(I am still work in progress) that I have to cultivate relationships and lean in to my relationships. The first step is to ask yourself, what relationships do I need to develop? How would I go about it? What information or places to do I to get to, to make it happen? For example, I am interested in golf and would like to play one day, but I have been told it’s a dry game and I think I am more interested in it because my Father is a golfer ( lol for the daddy’s girl). The other day I decided I needed to learn some golf terminologies to help me converse with my Dad better and just by asking my Dad what his handicap was (A golf term for a player’s skill level) made him warm up to me more.

I want to challenge you to be proactive about your relationships. Do you need to contact old friends or colleagues that you haven’t heard from in a long time? Or do you need to consciously join a certain association or go to certain events that would increase your chances of meeting people that would add value to your life? What about simple things like putting a reminder on your phone to call loved ones? Don’t just let life happen to you casually, lean in to your relationships and you would live a richer and more fulfilled life.

Stay Empowered,

Tale.

I really appreciate your comments. They let me know if you are being blessed, inspired or empowered. I am also willing to answer your questions, so please keep sharing and share this article with others….